April Fools in October?

You've heard of Christmas in July, how about April Fools in October?
That is what Ninja K thought was the case earlier this week while routinely eating her breakfast in the car. Since she races to get out of the house in time for work each day, Ninja S and I help out each morning by making lunch and a "to go" breakfast. This particular morning the breakfast was toasted bagels and english muffins with cream cheese and cinnamon sugar on top, and the usual hot chocolate. With her first bite of bagel, she knew something was wrong. It looked fine, but it didn't taste the way it looked like it should taste, and then she figured it out. The prepared cinnamon sugar must have run out, and a new batch was mixed. But, when I mixed the new batch, I mistook the sugar canister for the salt canister! Whoops! She really thought that I might have planned it as a joke, and admits it really would make a heck of an April Fools gag....literally gag!
She spit out the bite, and scraped off her tongue as best she could, but still couldn't shake the taste of excessive salt all day. She tried several remedies including the cure-all ice cream remedy, and finally tooth paste, but nothing worked.
All I can say, is that I'll be looking over my shoulder fearing "pay-back" until April.

Too Much of a Sweet Thing?

I recently re-discovered a forgotten bottle of "sugar scrub" I had received as a gift. I tried it the other night and found it smelled wonderful and left my skin sooo soft. I was sold, until I began to towel off. Ugh! Even though I'd rinsed it off, my skin was so sticky! I felt like a popcicle had melted all over me. I jumped back into the shower to lather up and rinse off properly. That's the last time I wash with sugar!

Challenge Accepted

Here's my morning Haiku

The cuckoo sings out seven times
The cats paw, the dogs woo-woo
Each celebrates another new begining

- Or-

Breakfast duties fulfilled
Lunch packed, keys in hand I'm on my way
It's only 5:30am!

The Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Rose Bush

Planting season for bare root roses is coming to an end, so I made a last minute run to the store to pick up a few. Having done some Internet research first, I was able to recognize the shade tolerant varieties that I needed for the front yard. I found just what I wanted and at $4 each, I chose two. I planted them that very afternoon, so they were all snug and cozy for their first night with their "toes" in real soil.

The next afternoon, I detoured en rout to my mail box, to pay a visit to my new baby bushes. Akkkk!!! The one in the middle was gone! There was only a hole where it used to be...I couldn't believe it! Who would sneak around at night to steal a $4 rose bush? It was gone, vanished, no where in sight....oops, there it was about six feet behind me, near the middle of the yard! The poor thing looked naked with its bare roots sticking straight up in the air (like a dead deer by the side of the road.) On closer inspection, it looked like scratching marks in the ground all around the hole, and "fluffy" dirt, like it was flung. Maybe it was an animal. Why??? What kind of animal goes around at night randomly attacking innocent rose bushes?

With no further clues as to the suspect, I turned my energies to re-planting the hopefully not-yet-dead bush and employing security measures. It was suggested that I should stake it to the ground and lock it down with a chain, but I really didn't think it had been trying to escape. In the end, I anchored it with two rocks, and put windmill sentries on duty. So far I've been successful, it survived last night unscathed. However, you can be sure I'll be checking in on my little buddy everyday until it grows some proper thorns.

BREAKFAST, THE BEST MEAL OF THE DAY

They say there is no such thing as a free lunch, well that may be, but today there was a free breakfast...at Denny's!
I needed to retrieve my car, so today I drove down to SD to swap cars with B. I had heard about the "free Grand Slam" promotion a few days ago, and thought how much fun it would be to take her out for a free breakfast. We had heard there were long lines at all the Denny's, but we were undaunted. When we arrived, we also found there were long lines of cars in the parking lot! Luck was on our side. We found a parking spot almost immediately, and quickly threaded through the dozens of people outside to put our name on the list. The host predicted only about a 45 minute wait...less if we waited for the counter. On our journey into the restaurant from the parking lot, B spotted a news crew arriving. "Great, just what I need...all my friends to see me on the 6 o'clock news." I told her not to worry, we'd duck inside to wait...the story was probably with all the people waiting around the outside of the building. Oops, here comes the crew through the front door. I warn her, and we move around the corner near the bathrooms, and turn our backs so not to be seen. Then we hear, "Oh no, don't move, we want to talk to you two!" Here comes the TV camera right in our faces, and the microphone to our lips!!! Yep really. (So glad I put my eye make up on today!) That cameraman and reporter had made a bee line through the crowd, just to interview us! B's gonna kill me for sure?
I thought the whole experience was exhilarating and the coincidence of being at the one Denny's during the one hour that the TV crew came, and then picking us out of the crowd of people to interview...was hysterical!
It turned out that we were able to sit almost immediately at the counter, and our meal came before we finished reading the funnies! It was great, hot and yummy...and maybe we made the 6 o'clock news! I hope they do it next year!

A VISIT TO SANTA

For the first time in years, I got to take my little girls to get a picture with Santa, and aren’t they adorable? We started the evening with a trip to B’s employer for a yummy hot beverage. Next we drove over The Living Desert to explore it after dark and be amazed by their famous “wild lights.” They have amazing displays of Christmas lights, all arranged in a desert or wild animal design, and there are over 350, 000 lights! There was a nocturnal animal show, ice-less ice skating, camp fires to roast hot dogs and s’mores, and endless photo opportunities. Of course sitting on Santa’s knee was the highlight. Then we went home to decorate the tree and toast the coming of the holidays with champagne. What a great way to get in the Christmas spirit.

Epilogue: The next day B and K went to Idylwild to visit the snow and bring some back for me to enjoy. It so happened that when they returned, I was in the shower. They couldn't wait, and pummeled me with snowballs! After I stopped screaming, I could hear their victorious laughter.

I woke up this morning to find THIS in my front yard! Did one of you put someone up to this?!

THE CAKE

Once upon a time, there was a mother whose children had all grown up. Each one had left home to seek their fortunes and make families of their own. While the mother missed them very much, she was overjoyed to see them happy in their pursuits.

One day, the mother was asked to join her daughter’s birthday celebration, and invited to bring the cake. This was a special honor and delight, to once again be baking the birthday cake for her little girl. Since so many guest were invited, the mother decided to make two beautiful cakes, to be sure there would be enough for all. One cake was iced with vanilla frosting (the girl’s favorite flavor) and the other was iced with chocolate. The mother had fun decorating both cakes with whimsical and colorful designs for the happy occasion.

The party was filled with playful activities, good food, laughter and loving friends. That evening, the girl discovered that her guests had eaten from only one of the cakes. When her mother left for home the next morning, her daughter insisted she take the second cake to share with the mother’s friends at home.

It so happened, that a member of the mother’s church, was an old widow woman who had been blind for some years. The kind parish priest had arranged for workers to help the widow woman with her house hold chores and doctor visits and companionship, and a volunteer to help direct her finances. The mother heard that the very day she returned home with the extra cake, was the widow woman’s birthday. She quickly asked the volunteer to take it to the old woman, that she too could celebrate her birthday. So another candle was blown out, and another song was sung.

As fate would have it, that was to be the old woman’s last birthday. Just four weeks later, the widow woman found herself in the hospital with her days coming to an end. When visitors came to see her ,the thing of joy that she would talk about was the beautiful cake baked just for her birthday. She said it had been so long since any one had baked a cake just for her. She felt a special joy, and her weak heart glowed with the warmth from that simple act of love.

Moral: “You never know when your seemingly insignificant deed or remark, may make a big impact on someone else’s life.”

BEVISMS

Handburger:
Actually E’s contribution. She was in 8th grade when she got into a discussion with me over what that delightful round sandwich from McD’s was called. She sensibly pointed out that it was not made of ham…and that it did fit in her hand!

Fassle:
Mom: I’m thinking of a word that starts with ‘f.’
B: I’ve got one, “fassle.”
Mom: Ha ha, “fassle” is not a word!
B: Yes it is! You know, like “fassle up your seat belts.”

The Greeting Card Assignment:
The class was assigned to create a business that you don’t usually see. B’s idea was a greeting card company for unusual occasions. As we were driving to the store, she began proudly telling me about one of her favorites. The front read: “Sorry you got laid”
(I nearly got whip lash when a jerked my head around to give her an astonished look.) Realizing something was off, she began back peddling and stammered….you know…when you’re sorry somebody lost their job!
OFF! Laid OFF! was all I could say.

The Habitat for Humanity:
Just a couple of years ago I read in our community bulletin about the plans for the vacant corner lot at the end of our street. The article said the property was purchased by Habitat for Humanity. B perked up suddenly interested, “so we’re going to get a little zoo down there?!”

The Terminator:
Telling me about a new coworker, B mentioned that the girl’s husband was in the military, and that he had an interesting job…he was a terminator.
Akkk! I’m choking again! My eyes bulge as I look at her and repeat…a…TERMINATOR???
Stealthfully realizing that something was amiss, she begins to describe his job and that he kills the bugs, you know in houses and such.
“EX-terminator!!!” “Exterminator!!!” “Exterminator is what you mean,” I pant.

There Are Angels Among Us

For those of you who don't know or who have never thought about it, there are Angels here on earth. I believe when God works unknowingly and unexpectedly through others, they become His Angels for a while. Perhaps you know a story about an Angel; here is mine:

I have had a troublesome tooth for years now. It started before I left Charlotte, but every time I have seen a dentist they have not been able to find anything wrong with my tooth. As soon as my dental insurance lapsed, it decided to get worse. Knowing that I'll soon start work, and once again be secured with dental insurance, I was sure I could continue to "baby" it along. I was wrong.

Sunday night, a piece finally broke off. I've never had a dental crisis before, and I wasn't sure how soon I needed to get treatment. Monday morning I was very stressed, worried that I couldn't afford an expensive, uninsured dental visit...and HUNGRY because I was afraid to eat. Before the pain started in the afternoon, I got an unexpected overnight delivery. It was a cashiers check sent (completely out of the blue) by one of my children! No explaination was enclosed, and of course they had no idea how badly I needed help at just that moment! Of course, I sat down and cried... Joy...Anger...Relief...Love. Who could have known two days ago, that my tooth would break on Sunday night?

I thank God every day for all you Angels in my life, and you are ALL my angels!

Tagged: Okay, I'll play

What was I doing five years ago?
I successfully negotiated a transfer with WB from Charlotte to Palm Desert.
I began my second cross country trip. My favorite stop was at the Olympic fountain in Atlanta!

Favorite Snack:
A muffin...the only one I don't like is the nutritious one with bran. Yuck!
A nonfat latte. Now put them together, and wow!

Five things on my to do list:
Check the balance on the fans in the living room and B's room.
Have my tires rotated.
Plant some flowers in front and back.
Watch the Season Premier of Monk and Psych

Things I'd do if I had a Billion dollars:
Take a trip without luggage, and buy everything I need along the way.
Own a large estate with extra rooms and Casitas for guests.
Go to exclusive Charity Balls, and meet nice people with big hearts.
Work for fun, probably for a Charity.

Five jobs I've had:
Tour Guide at D-land
Patient Care Technician
Store Manager
Gallery Supervisor
Office Manager

Five places I've lived:
Garden Grove, CA
Madrid, Spain
Voorschoten, Nederlands
West Kensington, England
Charlotte, NC

Five Random things people don't know about me:
I used to dream about being an international spy (I love all of the gadgets and sneaking around).
I think jewelry is the perfect gift for any occasion.
I've had an irrational fear since childhood of knocking out my teeth while climbing stairs.
I like to shop at Garage Sales, but only the ones that have furniture and interesting nick knacks.
I feel guilty watching TV unless I'm multitasking on the side, even if it's just doing a crossword.

Five CD's I would want with me on a Desert Island?
The sound track from "Wicked"
and four back-up discs.

Backyard Camping

Since last night was National Backyard Camping Day, I decided the dogs and I would participate. First came the puzzle of setting up the "1930 tent," as N dubbed it. I tried laying out the tent and placing the poles along side of it, but within just a few minutes they literally became "too hot to handle." So I took the task into the air conditioning. I made several geometric designs on the living room floor, focusing mainly on the ones with the holes. After about 10 minutes and 2 refreshing drinks, inspiration struck! I then came up with the final and correct design. Implementing it single handedly, was the bigger challenge. When the task was complete, I really needed to cool down. M left me a cute little pool that sets up instantly. Believe me, I made the most of it. When B came home, I lit up the BBQ and grilled the dogs. Oh come on, you know what I mean. We watched a movie and indulged in smores. Then I introduced the dogs to their new "digs" for the night. After C-the-younger barked at every rustle for 45 minutes, I changed places with her and slept by the door myself. It was sweltering hot, and everybody's sprinklers seem to go on after midnight. Of course, except mine. I did some sprinkler repair earlier in the day, and was pleased at myself that I had remembered to hit the "rain" button. Damn the technology, they triggered anyway! A rainbird was trained right on my tent at 12:45am. By the time I lept from the tent, and dashed for the house and then the garage, my clothes were drenched. On my way back through the house, I seriously considered leaving the wet clothes on, perhaps it would keep me cooler, out in the un-air conditioned tent? Well, it was fairly peaceful after that. The crickets were serenading the strange birds that like to sing at night. But I could hardly hear them over the ruckus coming from H the cat. She apparently didn't want to be trapped in the house and left out of the fun. At 2:35 I got up again, and closed all the windows in H the cat's room. It resulted in only dulling her cries. She finally quit sometime after 3am.... I was awake by 5:45 (the heat) and broke camp and was all packed up by 6:00am. I can't wait until next year.

The Vacume

Well I've already told most of you, but it wouldn't hurt to put it in writing. A texted me last weekend, "my wife is crazy." So I just had to call him back. When he answered, he and N were in the store, and I could hear her in the background "whooping" it up with triumphant sounds. She was celebrating the 10% discount they had just won. A explained that they had just bought a vacuum cleaner, and the store's policy was that they would match a competitor's price, plus a 10% discount. Well, N had found it cheaper elsewhere, and now she was savoring the moment....so that the rest of the store could hear!
The madness doesn't stop there, A proudly explained that he was the owner of a new, Dyson "The Animal." Yes, the RR of vacuums! The top of the line, it'll eat anything you put in front of it...the best that there is! At animal hair anyway. He has been secretly coveting this since January when he saw what it could do with the shed from a husky on a dark carpet. As one of his sisters said, "This must be one of the top ten signs that you're no longer a bachelor, when buying a vacuum sends you into ecstasy." He spent the next two days in bliss, spring cleaning the carpet, couch, walls, ceiling.......

The Puzzling Summer

Summer is here,
The weather is hot,
It’s ripe for indoor entertainment.
So we sit on the floor
And we emptied our box,
It’s time for some puzzle enjoyment.

The challenge is fine,
The picture this time,
Is a classic old black and white snap shot.
Lunch on a steal beam,
New York skyline’s the scene,
And construction makes a curious backdrop.

We’re ready to start,
Five hundred pieces to sort,
With the frame the first part assembled.
It proves harder than we’d thought,
So much black and white art,
And the grey tones mixed together and jumbled.

The progress seems slow,
“Where does this piece go?”
Then our task attracts one most coquettish.
She’s a lovely black poodle,
She’s a “Brain” not a “Noodle,”
With an unbeknown ‘puzzle piece’ fetish.

We enjoy while we’re able,
But we must leave the table,
There’s work and schedules to keep.
Then return with resolve,
But the puzzle we can’t solve,
And our picture seems strangely incomplete.

We look everywhere,
But eleven aren’t there!
And our success has been thwarted this time.
Her name rhymes with “Trouble”
We suspect on the double, she ate them!
Now there’s just four eighty-nine.

Jobs

Well the PSPD seems to want me. Apparently they have 3 openings. Of the 16 they tested, 6 passed. I had the highest score....helps to take the exact same test 5 times in 18 months! All six were invited for interviews. Two didn't show up, and two failed the interview. Guess what, I'm at the top of their list of....two. They have started my background check, and will probably contact all or most of you, so keep those skelletons deep in the back of your closets, I need the work!

Cute picture, huh?

Doggie Olympics

Our return to the desert was fairly low-stress and uneventful. The weather co-operated and was unseasonably cool, providing a smoother transition. The cats remembered the dogs, and I really believe are happy to have them back. Maybe it signals normality to the cats. Heaven knows it isn't the affection from the dogs since Erin studiously ingors them and the poodles love to pounces and watch them scamper.

About the third day after our return, the antics started. While most of the blame can be placed on C the younger, they have all had a share in the fun! The olympic events have included: eating batteries (there have so far been two legs to this event), knocking over the potted plant and digging it out, eating the 4 day old area rug, raiding the bathroom trash, licking the paint off the walls and ripping the phone jack out of the wall. The daytime jovality is followed by midnight urping.

I've been brainstorming for solutions and have settled on the idea of one, or more if necessary, open-grilled crates for containing the marathon party pups.